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《母语》 文/韩谧涵 翻译:韩鲁珩
我从不给祖母打电话,
并不是因为我不爱她,
只是我不知道该说什么。
哪怕最简单的话,
比如“你今天过得怎么样?”
还有那些无聊的
客套寒暄,都会让我畏惧——
当你忘记了自己的母语,
尽管我当然曾经会说,
在我年少的时候。
那时,她会打我一下,
因为我偷懒
不好好练XI 中文书法,
而如今我早已忘记了
那笔画间细腻的章法。
那些笔触,像母语里的声调起伏,
像传统——
我从未真正珍惜过;
那门语言,我曾经懒得去学,
而如今,一切都太迟了。
我真希望还能给祖母打个电话,
告诉她,我爱她。
Mother tongue
I never call my grandmother, not because I don't love her, Ijust don't know what to say. Even the simplest things like "how's your day?"
and other boring cliches feel daunting when you forget your mother tongue, though surely, I knew it back when I was young,
when she'd give me a smack for trying to slack off on my Chinese calligraphy, which I've forgotten, the delicate choreography
of brushstrokes, like inflections in my mother tongue, traditions I didn't appreciate, a language I didn't bother to learn, and now it's too late.
I wish I could call my grandmother to tell her that Ilove her.
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