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古风学院诗十二期绝句高级班第三讲【杜甫组】作业帖 |
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点评
画面感很强,色调和谐,绣字出彩
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点评
春去夏来落英随水别芳滩,野陌熏风日渐欢。时序轮回频换景,谁云春色已凋残?点评深度思考已完成这首描绘春去夏来的七言诗意境清雅,情感豁...
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点评
千山同学点评认真。小诗起笔写春末柳絮,满塘池水,再到初绽睡莲,风中新苞,由远及近,由整体到局部,层层铺展春尽入夏的景致。时序意象精准,画面层次分明。
说点欠缺。春阑之时与柳絮无关,柳絮是初春意象,尽管残了也并非春末之征候,所选物象不甚合理。个见有误请见谅!
韵无误,平仄合规,写作合乎渔阳第九法。三四两句衔接关联有序,尤其问句到位,既点破前句之静而生动意,又为入夏开题。
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