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古风小令六期初级班 第九讲 念雪组作业帖 | 
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 点评
小词格律正确,第一,二意群连接不多紧密。小词缺少点抑扬顿挫的声情。 
 
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 点评
小词顺畅、古雅、老道。一句“心乱帆已张”,足可证明阿师是诗词里手。但是飞花二字到这里来,有点添乱无解。云飞?路远云飞帆已张? 
 
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